I stare at the darkness of a winter night,
Frigid breeze, feels like Ice .
Froze my bones and pare alike.
I closed my eyes and breathed the ice,
to quench the burning core inside.
The acrid heart and a yearning soul besides .
One desires a taboo,other shoves it apart.
My mind perplexed , just want to rest .
Just wish the frigid breeze to blow
and freeze my fire into the snow.
3 comments:
I like the poem...no second thots bout tht but i thot this line...
'Frigid breeze, feels like Ice .
Froze my bones and pare alike.'
u've communicated the cold thrice in two consecutive lines alone. it's kinda redundant 'coz it's obvious a frigid breeze will freeze ur insides or tht it will be like ice....
i dont kno if u did it to fit in a rhyming pattern or if u actually stumbled in tryin to say the same thing wid more words...
but anyway...d poem is nice... hope u dont mind my criticism! jus tryin to b helpful
keep writing!
~Sanz
http://sanz360.wordpress.com/
Even the snow cant put off some fires...fires that are fuelled by something thats everlasting..
Cheers
CRD
a very very great poem
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