It is so vibrant in my mind,tempting,secret,supposedly delicious and just one inch too far from me to sink my teeth into......Its so edgy that the more i don't act on it makes it grows stronger .
"Nothing fixes a thing so intensely as the wish to forget it"-Michel de Montaigne.
Nothing in this world is as tasty as the cookie you can't have .but sometimes you need to appreciate that you live in a world where something as wonderful as cookie exist.
Admire them all but eat one at a time.LOL.....
I guess the promises that you make with yourself are hardest to keep.....but I have to be stronger than this and keep this one .....God give me strength.....and one more thing dear God if you are on to it ......take that twinge away too.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Thoughts
My life ....is it really mine ......I often ask myself .Busy with the chores ,dealing with the daily troubles and stretching the day to the fullest to accomplish one more thing for others yet the work keeps on piling one over the other.......makes me question what am I doing with my life ...is it really worth it....does anyone even cares....makes me run for an easy escape ......something to make me numb.....something to make the pain less painful........something to make the demons in my mind rest for sometime......something which will burn my throat yet numb my mind so well .
Maybe its the spirit that is talking now but I have tried to find ways to distract me at the end of the day,but all things go through the same route , which makes me question my own morality is this what I am actually looking for . I think I need to look harder to find that distraction which will keep me going. Though , I am very sure this distraction is no living being or thing.....its inside me. I just have to find a way . Its just that I don't know how?
For people who are trying to understand me ...I meant no harm .......I myself didn't know what I wanted ,or maybe I do ,or maybe I am too scared to want it . My head is heavy and my eyes are sore and I am tired to my core .....I just need .......nothing .....nothing at all.....just being alone with nothing in my head so that I can sleep .....sleep for ever.
Maybe its the spirit that is talking now but I have tried to find ways to distract me at the end of the day,but all things go through the same route , which makes me question my own morality is this what I am actually looking for . I think I need to look harder to find that distraction which will keep me going. Though , I am very sure this distraction is no living being or thing.....its inside me. I just have to find a way . Its just that I don't know how?
For people who are trying to understand me ...I meant no harm .......I myself didn't know what I wanted ,or maybe I do ,or maybe I am too scared to want it . My head is heavy and my eyes are sore and I am tired to my core .....I just need .......nothing .....nothing at all.....just being alone with nothing in my head so that I can sleep .....sleep for ever.
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